Over the past few days, I've been told several times that I'm either smart or talented or something like that. "Josh, you must have a high GPA." (I do, but that's beside the point) "Josh, you're really good at Jeopardy." (That's because I watch it a lot) "Josh, you sure look funny." (Wait, I don't think anyone said that. Hmm. Maybe.)
Anyway. People say I'm talented. And it may be true. I'm still not convinced, but we'll go with it. I have two problems with this situation.
First, I don't have to work as hard as some would think at most of the things I'm talented at, so I feel awkward when people praise me for it. As a credit to my upbringing, perhaps, I find it natural to go to class, do the reading, pay attention, study hard and perform when asked. I've been taught to excel, not to fit in, and excelling means giving your all. I also have some amount of knowledge in most fields due to who knows what. Probably a combination of watching Jeopardy, West Wing, Monty Python and Whose Line.
Second, most of my talents are in fields that most people find intimidating. Math, theatre, physics, etc. But when it comes to things most people seem to consider easy, like small talk, I fail abysmally. Or, at least, in my opinion, I do. I may not, but I tend to feel that way. Also, the things I excel in require thinking at a higher level and being as specific and detailed as possible, so I find it hard to make the unspecific generalities that small talk seems to require in most situations.
Another thing. I'm not sure where this fits, so I'll just put it here. I feel at times that I'm "socially inept" because I try to avoid gossip/slander as often as possible, which seems to have become a popular pastime of the social circle I'm running with these days. I'm hoping to change that soon. I also try to avoid being rude as much as possible, so I may seem like I don't want to interact. 80% of the time, that isn't true. I just usually don't have the nerve to initiate the conversation.
I promised I would come back to the movie watching. Being loud and self-serving is
Anyway. Time to play computer games. With my headphones on.
For what it's worth, I think you are a fine small talker. You may not be the one to start it all the time, but you will go with it. Ya know? And I don't think that avoiding gossip/slander is socially inept in any way. I think it is the best way. I know that's something hard for me because I don't always think about it when people go into gossip, so it's something I have to watch out for. It may be hard, but it may be helpful to, in a loving manner, mention how the people who are talking in such a way, that it is harmful. Ya know? Be with who you are comfortable with and if you don't have many of those, they will come, but it also may come with you being comfortable with where you are, if that makes sense.
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